December is a month full of introspection and retrospection for me. Aren’t those great words? I could break them down into prefixes, roots and suffixes, but I only know one friend/reader who would actually appreciate that. I could wax poetic on the year that has been 2014, and, well, I’m going to wax poetic on the year that was 2014.
If you asked me in January if I would be where I am today, I would be laughing. I’m talking the laughing that includes holding my sides with the pain of the cackling. In January, I wrote my annual bucket list for the year and slipped in a wild, crazy goal at the end of it – I would become a certified fitness professional. Ya know – personal trainer, class instructor, something like that. I thought I’d pull off some type of training over the summer and be able to teach a class here and there over the fall. Little did I know.
If you’re a dear friend, you’ve heard these stories. If you’re a reader or new to my blog, here’s a quick summary of the year that will get you caught up.
January – Recovering from running injury, I hobble to multiple yoga classes a week and start swinging kettle bells. Contemplate a return to college for second master’s degree.
February – In the emergency room on Valentine’s Day weekend twice due to severe migraine. Given cocktail of drugs (including Reglan – I don’t recommend it) that cause allergic reaction in my body. I pass out, wake up not knowing where I am and believe I might be on fire. I’m given a sedative, knocked out and sent home. The next day, I start a Whole 30 and find relief from eight years of migraines that did not respond to medication.
March – I start to think that maybe I’m not so happy with my life as it is. Begin to question all I know to be true. Super light-hearted time. Or not.
April – Enroll in yoga teacher training and attend my first intensive weekend of education at Awaken Yoga. Fall in love. Begin to proclaim said love to everyone I know.
May – Teacher training weekend number two. Decide to take a completely new teaching job in my district in the hopes that I will find renewed love of education. Begin to lose friends. Seriously. They start dropping like flies and looking at me like I have three eyeballs.
June, July, August – Three intensive weeks of yoga teacher training. Each week brings me to love my practice more. Get new part-time job as Lifestyle Coach in the YMCA Diabetes Prevention Program.
Mid-August – Begin days of horrifying anxiety, sleeplessness and physical sickness at the idea of returning to my teaching job. Resign and lose second wave of friends.
September – Begin job search.
October – Have the following vivid dream – I walk into my favorite consignment shop, hold the hands of the owner and tell her that I “believe it is my destiny to have 17 part time jobs.”
So, that about catches you up. This fall has been the most peaceful, calm time of my life. There is stress – finances are a bit of a struggle – but I’ve started to find a better way. My Sunday nights are no longer filled with the anxiety that used to keep me awake until my brain finally relented and allowed me to sleep for a few hours. I’ve found myself doing the creative things that I used to believe I couldn’t do or that I shouldn’t spend time on. Me – creative? That word has always been on the lowest of my personal adjectives list. But now, I’m finding it to be a real part of who I am. I got a sewing machine for my birthday. Me! A freaking sewing machine!
And the 17 jobs thing? Well, it’s not far off. I’m teaching yoga at five different locations, coaching YMCA participants, and seeing yoga private clients. Which brings me to my big share for the day/month/year. My new yoga business website. I spent a solid six weeks deciding what to call it. More agonizing, less deciding. And then it came to me. I’m living my wildest dreams. And maybe, someday, those wildest dreams will include an actual yoga studio. Or maybe, like now, I’ll just help people who tell me “I couldn’t do yoga in my wildest dreams.” Either way, this is the name that made my heart sing.
Writing these words now, sharing this new adventure with anyone, is still exhilarating and terrifying. It feels a bit like exposing a part of myself to the world, but I believe, in my heart, that this is my new path. The course of my past year, maybe the past five or ten years, has delivered me here, to this moment. In the words of Paulo Coelho “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Thank you for reading and for being, in some way, a part of my journey here.