Breaking Up With My Scale

It’s National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (February 23rd-March 1st).  The NED site is using the tag line “I Had No Idea” and is sharing information in the hopes of increasing awareness and, hopefully, prevention of eating disorders.

I’ve never suffered from an eating disorder; however, I can admit to, and own the fact, that for most of my life, my eating has been disordered. I’m on Day 9 of my Whole 30 experience and I have to admit to the fact that I haven’t broken up with my scale like the program advises.  I’ve weighed myself twice in the past 9 days, eager to know if the program is “working,” instead of judging how I feel to know that it’s doing what it’s supposed to do.  I still judge myself in terms of that 3 digit number that pops up each day. I calculate my value as if the two things are directly correlated. So, I’m putting the scale in my detached garage for the rest of this 30 day journey. I won’t be going out there any time soon, and, hopefully, the few minutes it would take me to get in and dust off that digital self-esteem machine will be enough to stop me.

I’m sharing this info-graphic because what struck me the most when I started to think about my issues with food and my scale was this:  I started feeling badly about my weight when I was 11 years old. I distinctly remember being in 6th grade and feeling awful about the way I looked. 6th grade is where my daughter is now. She has zero social media access & though I know that I can’t protect her or keep her from it forever, I hope to shield her from the same self-hate I experienced. When she does get access to social media, it will be with heavy supervision and discussion about the images she’s seeing.  We focus on healthy eating in this house, exercise as a part of a healthy everyday life and we talk about where our food comes from and why that matters. I am hopeful that I am raising a healthy set of “tweens” that will grow up knowing they are loved, but more importantly knowing how to love themselves.

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